ARGH!!!

I've got a distinction for Merchandise Buying and that's perhaps the happiest 'thing'. It was definitely a surprise since I expected an 'A' for this subject. My gpa does not increase due to a difference between 'Z' and 'A' though. I did fine for a few other subjects because I expected those grades (if not, I'm gonna... whine and drink wine haha they rhyme). But those subjects that I didn't do so well in...... sigh!

I'm feeling so frustrated and annoyed right now because my gpa is still @#$%^&* rubbish! If only I got A for all subjects this semester, I'd would have gotten my expected gpa (now that may not be realistic I know but it's good to aim high). A single '+' in the grade can mean 0.3 (I think) increase in gpa! The school website has not uploaded my results and gpa yet (sms services release exam results 1 day earlier! haha?) but from my own calculations, my gpa is really bleaugh. :'(((((((!!!!!!!

One can see how obsessed I am with my gpa. The reason is simple: I want to study the course that I'm interested in in university! Locally, that is. I probably can't afford to study overseas and with the 3 local universities all favouring JC students (sigh sigh sigh), we polytechnic students have to work extra hard. Maybe that's not the case for smarty pants but oh, whatever.

I never seem to be entirely satisfied with what I do. Sometimes I wonder if I'm putting too much pressure on myself. There's no choice. I want to do something I desire to do later on in life so I've got to endure this prolonged agony (or rather, boring times?). I guess I've always had high expectations of myself to excel.

What is done is done, so use crying over spilt milk. It's not that I didn't work hard enough... I just didn't work harder. So I guess I've got to push myself even harder next semester. I've tried my best this time but it will be % better than the current best next time. :)

For now, it's my much deserved school holidays and I will use this time to the fullest! I wouldn't mind if I used this time to sleep and skive for an entire day. And when school reopens, I will be certain that I remain focused and determined.

It's time to change the water in my fish tank (I've got 2 goldfish! :D)... just like how it's time for me to change perception of some issues.

I'm finally appeased after blogging. Haha.

-EDIT
That is when I just saw my gpa on the school's website. I can't stop crying boo-boo (not literally, duh) over my 'bloody-hell-rubbish-stupid-GPA'!

:( or :)... I'm in agony, for a moment before I cool down.

I've got to play my piano now. I won't bang the keys though. :'(

Auf widersehn.